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denying the fear...

whether it be spoken or not, whether it never goes any further than fleeting thoughts of... to some, the degree to which we focus on our shortcomings or grapple to find a reason to keep going at times, can be an agonizing and exhausting struggle. feeling insignificant enough to entertain the idea of suicide is widespread, real, and relevant.

based on experience, expectations, and assumptions we place on ourselves or others place on us, we often conceal our innermost selves, unwilling to risk rejection.

others paths are not yours to decide. there is judgment surrounding suicide, depression and mental illness. the fear to speak based on other peoples ignorance. the ridicule, being made to feel negligible and nonessential, which adds to the stigma and may be the catalyst that changes thinking into implementation.
if there ever is a point where you feel you can no longer keep going please tell someone... if they discount your disclosure, distance themselves, or they are not receptive tell someone else... others insensitivity is a reflection of them, not you. take moments often to remember how far you've come, and how significant you are.
it keeps you humble, and thankful.

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